Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2003 December
2003 November
2003 October
My Links
Kate0226's Blog
Ossining's Blog
Shroomydani's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| ......................... |
| 12.07.03 (1:59 am) [edit] |
:? My job takes so much away from me. I am always so freaking tired by teh tim ei get a day off i don't want to do anything. I am kinda down cause i feel sick, but I know things will get better. Seems like while other things get closer, some slip away.
I am kinda worried about teh next coupel of weeks, but I know every thing will work out how it should be, and even if i don't understand why at first, I know it will be for the best.
Anyway, I am dead tired and in pain so i gonna crash. Ugg, being sick sucks. Night.
|
|
|
| |
| PEOPLE WHO DON'T UPDATE SHOULD DIE! |
| 12.01.03 (10:14 pm) [edit] |
:)
My job pretty much owns my life....... But i am gonna start posting parts of a story here as often as i can so i can start to get in the mood of writing again.. if u check back in a week or so, the first part should be up... All i am really gonna post, I may run different lil stories depending on my mood/day/week, but I am gonna try to commit to this... So hope to see u here soon, and enjoy once it starts.
|
|
|
| |
| Hmmmm.... |
| 11.11.03 (11:04 pm) [edit] |
Well, I am bored tired.. and fiending some IM chat with my babydoll. I think maybe she is having problems with computer or sleeping. Ah well.
We had a blast last night, was fun times. She got to stay over and we got to sleep in together, which is always nice. there is nothing that makes me feel for secure and calm than sleepin gnext to my baby.
I have to go back to work tomorrow (booooo!) which sucks, but I need the money i suppose. I really need to start thinking about my future, and how i can support my baby and whatever she wants to do, whether going to school or just working, I need to be able to be there for here.
I really need to go try and get my liscense soon. I keep putting it off, but one day putting crp off will bit eme in the butt. So i think my next days off, when i have teh cash, I gonna go get that done, or at least try to. I am just scared they will say no I guess, and fear that after all I have been through with this, will all be for nothing :(
Anyway, gonna stay up a bit more waiting for my baby and guess will send her an email if she doesn't log on soon. Ugg... work sucks hehehhee. Night all.
|
|
|
| |
| grrrrrrr...... |
| 11.08.03 (1:14 am) [edit] |
:x Work sucks!!!!!! Anyway, sorry i haven't posted, will update as soon as i get a freaking day off... Nice blogs guys :)
|
|
|
| |
| The Ramblings of a sleep deprevated soul...... |
| 11.01.03 (7:47 pm) [edit] |
The sunset is so beautiful,
to gaze upon with an untroubled heart.
Its beauty all encompasing,
too awe-inspiring to fully explain,
with word or thought.
The wind is a moody thing,
with its gusts and light breeze,
how it carries scents,
bends trees,
encircles you,
when properly beconning.
The oceans and rivers of the land,
all ruled by a common force,
whether it be the rise and fall of the tide,
or the rivers course,
all ruled by one queen,
The Moon,
of course.
The ground beneath our feet,
often neglected and taken for granted,
providing the unnoticed strength we need,
to stay our course.
The curves of the canyons,
The heights of the tallest peaks,
the simple beauty of a valley,
the natural caverns where her children sleep.
The world is so amazing,
with so many things alives,
Her plants mamals and insects,
which she works to keep alive.
If i had to give her a name,
as many have done before,
I would call her Mother,
to all,
past,
present,
and future.
Ok, pretty lame, but whatever, I am half asleep. chat at u all later on... heheh Peace.
~Sean
|
|
|
| |
| Blah..... |
| 11.01.03 (7:35 pm) [edit] |
Work is wearing me out. My baby is worried we don't spend neough time together, at least I think she is. I really do love her more than i have ever loved anything. If u knew how it all began, I think the story is really amazing, to have it turn into what our relationship has grown into.
Work is really wearing me out though. My hours are good, in the sense that i have alot of them, just all at different times. hard to get on a set schedule when u work different hours everytime u work, is really draining.
Sorry I haven't posted in a long while, I have just been so busy. between getting stuffwith my car worked out, my liscense, work, and seeing my baby, I haven't really sat down to reflect on life much, like i normally do, I am just too exhausted by the time i get home, unless I have been with my baby all day.
Being with her is so refreshing, and revitalizing. I go see her on my break sometimes when i need a boost to get through the day. When she holds me in her arms I know that everything is going to be ok.
Anyway, after this, I am proably gonna crash soon. trying to kinda hang out with my roomies, but I doubt that is gonna work out, I am just so damn tired.
Think I will freewrite a poem after this post, and see what comes out.
Anyway, baby, I love you, and always will . For who u are, and how you are, and for the way you make me feel when I am near you. Keep yer head up sweety, I love u to death.
~Sean
|
|
|
| |
| Nice....... |
| 10.28.03 (9:14 am) [edit] |
Everything in my life is starting to come together. There was a period where i thought i couldn't make it to another day, then I met Katelyn. She spent the night last night, and it was wonderful. I sleep so good when she is laying next to me. I love her so much, I can't even express with words how I feel.
Hopefully everything will continue to go well. A lot of things I have been waiting for are finally starting to take shape and form, and come to pass. My problems are slowly solving themselves, as I continue to work toward my set goals. hopefully next year I will be able to start going back to school, and can get out to Cali to visit my family, I really want to take Kas so she can go meet em.
Anyway, sorry I haven't posted much, I have been working my butt off at work.... many hours... very draining. But everything is great here.
I hope for the same for everyone else. And I am glad to be a part of this lil commmunity.
[i]an altered line from an old poem I wrote.....
The winds of change blow once again,
with my soul's awakening close at hand;
As I walk through the valley of humanity's dreams,
I begin to realize why some things must be.....[/i]
Even though life gets rough at times, I believe that in the end it makes us stronger, If we can just find the strength to get through those rough times. Katelyn is that 'strength for me, and I am so happy I have found her. Ty for everything Kas, I love you :)
~Sean
|
|
|
| |
| Quizzing for the win.... |
| 10.21.03 (12:33 am) [edit] |
number: 6
shoes: boots
TV show: sportscenter
vegetable: potato
fruit: strawberry
movie: braveheart
magazine: n/a
actor: Mel Gibson
actress: Julia Roberts
scent: real wood fires
ice cream flavor: strawberry
color: blue/black/grey
season: fall
holiday: new years
rapper: Ice-cube
type of music: almost all
noise: falling rain
radio station: 102.9
overall food: pizza
fast food: In&Out
shape: Pentagram
state: california
boys name: Dominique Kellson Collins
girls name: to be determined at a later date.....
shampoo: suave hehehe
swear word: fuck
month: June
-[ private life ]-
do you have a crush: yes, luckily she is with me :)
ever kiss a friend: yes
so moving along..do you smoke: way too much
do you smoke weed: very rarely
beer good or beer bad: blah
do you drink wine coolers: for wannabes
do you like smirnoff ice: yes, malt liquor rules all beer.. hehe
prefer beer or liquor: liquuor, midori/almaredo
-[ have you ever ]-
gotten really REALLY wasted: yes, long ago hehe ... ahh
gone to jail or juvi: yes, for very short time mind u...
skateboarded: yes
gotten into a bar, under-aged: no
kissed someone of the same sex: yes, doh.. did i say that....
gone on a road trip: no
been to a concert: does don henly count?
got pulled over: doh!
broke a law: maybe hehhee
given money to a homeless person: yes, .. hey can u count yerself?
tried to kill yourself: yes... thank god i am over that stage....
-[ basic ]-
first name: Sean
middle name: Michael
last name: Collins
nicknames: Caine, and alot of peoplecall me Loser for some reason
gender: m
age: 27, but pls don't tell... lmao
birthday: 06-30-76
where were you born: Seoul, Korea
current location: Altamont TN
zodiac sign: Cancer
|
|
|
| |
| Playing..... |
| 10.18.03 (2:29 am) [edit] |
[i]Welp, downloaded an animation thing, no dolls to animate so was playing around withbasic stuff. was really fun, and very very entertaining. Hope the page isn't too busy for now, will fix it next time i get a chance. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. :) I know I am going too!!! [/i] :lol:
|
|
|
| |
| About today.... |
| 10.17.03 (3:09 am) [edit] |
[image]Kelgorn2.bmp[/image]
Today was a wonderful day. Katelyn came over and we had breakfast together. I tried to scramble eggs, she told me they were great , but I guess the important part is I 'tried' to cook.
:P
Anyway, after we ate... well, hehehe, we wore eachother out and cuddled for a bit. I really liek snuggling, sometimes we really don't get the chance to, so everytime we can, I really enjoy it. Before we could even get outta my room, we went at it again , and then we laid down some more. :)
Then we played my game that I always play, and it was lotsa fun. We stayed on for about 2 hours, before 'the Thomas' came home, at which point my baby ran and hid in my room...... hehehe
Needless to say, my room must inspire hormones or something, because we acted like rabbits today. :D
All and all it was a great day, we played around alil afterwards, pillow fighting, tickling, horseback riding.. and it was lotsa fun.
Always good to have a day where u can just let go an forget about what is going on in teh world, and just concentrate on each other.
I am excited about later Today, we are supposed to go check out the college, and see what they have to offer there. She is a lil nervous, but I think she will do wonderful if she decides to go. Anyway, it is really really late... and my baby will be coming over soon. Just wanted to log teh day in, it was wonderful.
That's all for now I suppose, except from saying, I really do love her with all my heart. I have never met anyone who has treated me so warmly, or been so special to me in my life; and I think that is very very special. Anyway, keep yer head up folks, I will chatter here later. Night.
|
|
|
| |
| The Blademaster |
| 10.17.03 (2:57 am) [edit] |
[image]icon_blademaster.bmp[/image]
[i]The song of the broadsword,
the agility of the dagger,
the beauty of the rapier,
the grace of their wielder.
The wind speaks of death,
a shinning blade sweeping in the night,
it's magical counterpart joining the fight,
the victim breaths a final sigh.
I make the blades sing,
i am graceful in the fight,
I let the blades dance,
I subbcum to their might.
They are of part of my being,
and extension of myself,
they are my closest friends,
with a will all themselves.
I am a slave to them,
to the beauy of my blades,
They serve as judge, jury, and executioner;
on the battlefields I graze.
I am called the Blademaster,
yet know the true masters,
be the blades.[/i]
|
|
|
| |
| A little bit about him..... |
| 10.17.03 (2:32 am) [edit] |
[i]Kelgorn Feyrune, a Level 50 Blademaster of Hibernia in the land of Palomides. He began his career as a Celtic Ranger, a new recruit in a newly formed guild. At that time, the Guildmaster was Dugann, another Hibernian Blademaster, and with his guideance, Kelgorn grew into a fine soldier. It wasn't long before this new recuit moved up in the ranks in teh guild, and became one of it's first officers.
Before the downfall of the Celtic rangers, Kelgorn played an important role within the guild. Both as a leader and a friend to many of the people who called themselves Celtic Rangers. Even back then though, the seeds of deciet and betrayal had been laid, and were but merely waiting to reach full growth.
When the Guildmaster Dugann abandoned his guild and moved to far off land, Kelgorn decided to take his leave from the 'Rangers', and joined a smaller, less established guild, which he and another had begun for their younger counterparts.
During his isolation from teh rest of his old colleauges, he spent his time perfecting his craft, and busied himself with the intricacies of weapon crafting; Aspiring one day to become a legendary Weaponscrafter.
It wasn't long before the Celtic Rangers completely fell apart, and Kelgorn was once again thrown into the position of leadership within his new guild. reluctant at first to take on such responsibility, his closest friend convinced him that he was needed. So he once again began to care about the affairs of others around him.
Currently, Kelgorn can be seen in the Frontier on many an occasion, making a name for his new guild home, and working on new connections for then. [/i] [image]Kelgorn2.bmp[/image]
|
|
|
| |
| Phone... |
| 10.15.03 (7:59 pm) [edit] |
[i]There was nothing wrong before,
But now there is,
I can't define what i feel,
or how it began,
I just know its there,
and that's that.
Ring.
Then u pick it up,
You greet them with hello,
or say 'what's up'.
They greet you back ,
and u begin to talk,
Its starts off fast and happy,
and then dies off.
The conversatin slows,
almost to a dead stop,
so u agree to call them back,
after some thought.
You take a shower to calm down,
and find out what's wrong,
you call them back,
and they aren't home.
You don't despair,
you don't cry out,
but find yerself confused,
wondering if there was something that needed to be worked out.
You call back now,
a lil later,
only to find again,
that they aren't there.
you hang up the phone,
and begin to think,
and a million thoughts run through yer head,
as u go over what was said,
and try to pick out where things went wrong,
So to sort your feeling out,
you decide to write a poem.
Part of you fears,
the words will hurt,
the other part too busy,
deciding where to start.
So u take up a pen,
confused and hurt,
and write down what yer feeling,
hoping it will help,
but find that it doesn't,
and decide nothing will.
Its hard to explain how i feel inside,
too many emotions to try to describe,
but to set all yer minds at ease,
the person i refered to just IM'd me,
and that makes me happy.
I am still a lil sad,
and not sure how to feel,
I know words can be painful,
and very real.
It hurt me to read a reference to me,
but only because it was true,
And that pained me.
I try so hard,
not to be closed off,
I try so hard to share my thoughts.
It doesn't always work,
but I always keep trying,
I know that if i don't,
I will be slowly dying.
There are too many emotions to hold iside,
sometimes u have to reach out and let go,
and explain how u feel inside.
Even if it doesn't make sense,
it is important that you make the attempt.
I don't know how i feel,
or how this day will end.
I want to erase all that i have said,
and pretend it never happened,
that i was happy instead;
But i was told i should be truthful,
and not to edit things out,
to express how i feel,
that is what journals are about.
So i guess i will leave this entry,
even though it is with regret.
And hope that things all work out in the end.
I am fine, there is nothing wrong....... [/i]
|
|
|
| |
|
|
